May 16 Seattle
I am at my most creaturely today an ugliness
you can really feel tear-stained nipple-bruised
and sort of sleepy. Nighttime dream-sex
with bus-strangers has left me daytime sad.
The bed knows you are coming home but
my body doesn’t. When you are away
I am a bad person badder every day.
I don’t know what to do with all this
grief. Put it in a poem I guess.
May 18 Seattle
These are dark days Aedes aegypti
carrying off whole babies almost-men
leading girls like startled deer out
of the dark cool of the arboretum.
Of course I am kidding but the world
is ending and then there is nothing
I want to do anyway. Poems,
who cares. We all exude a fine silvery
fear a snail’s track on the morning hearth.
Neil deGrasse Tyson Ian Edward Furst little
swooping bats in the slow spring deepening
oh you wonderful things keeping me alive
September 29 Seattle
Wine I’m weightless in the wet neon night.
Smell of burning plastic wood smoke leather sleeves.
I can’t leave you without imagining your death.
I burn the inside of your palms with my brains.
October 1 Seattle
The morning is an ocean dark and cold
gentle rotting things lap against my waist
I think I’m dead in the wavering phosphorescence.
What kind of city stains its sky this color
what kind of city lets spiders get this big.
I drink so much I drown my heart under the porch
under the child’s rocking chair with the peeling stickers
I’m going to break open I’m going to break open
o beauty the sun turns red and the earth turns grey.
January 3 Seattle
Imagine having a feeling you choose
for yourself. This is my body.
I am going to burn it down. It’s grey
when I remember what happened
it’s red when I lay down with my thoughts.
A woman is the saddest thing I have ever been.
Whose body is this body.
You don’t know how hard it is
to speak like this to speak poem.
I feel nothing it feels terrible.
I am pulling this out of my heart by the root
LAUREN IRELAND is a graduate of the MFA program for Poets and Writers at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst and an editor at Ghostwriters of Delphi. She is the author of The Arrow (Coconut Books, 2014), Dear Lil Wayne (Magic Helicopter Press, 2014), and two chapbooks, Sorry It’s So Small (Factory Hollow Press, 2011) and Olga & Fritz (Mondo Bummer Press, 2011). She lives in Seattle